Ultrasound, End of the World Postponed and Christmas.

Hello,
I really should write here more often...
Anyways...

Well, It's December 21st 2012, and unless the world is going to end within the next hour, I think we're all safe. but wait! I found this on Tumblr guys, so we're all going to die in 2015 now. *rolls eyes*

So a lot has been going on but I will not be sharing all of it with you today. 

Anyways, we all know I have ADHD, by now it is beyond obvious and well known by about everybody! I have been taking Ritalin for just over a month and went back to see my doctor and she told me to take 2 a day instead of 1, so I take one when I wake up and one at 2:00pm...or 5 hours after I wake up. 

ALSO, Christmas is right around the corner, only 4 more days :D haha

I had a pretty short list of expensive things...How likely is it that I'll actually get what I want? Not very likely but I'm not too worried about it. I'm honestly just really happy to be home for longer than 2 or 3 days, less stressful for me which is definitely a good thing...though I feel I keep it together pretty well, so that's good I suppose.

I have a youtube video planned but I HIGHLY doubt I will have it up before Christmas since I haven't even filmed it yet and when I restored my laptop to factory settings and deleted everything I lost my wonderful editing software, so I really don't know how I am going to be able to edit videos now. But I will still try to get it filmed and I'll figure something out...I'll try to.

So most people know that I have been wearing glasses lately. This all started one day when I was hanging out with Lex and Josh, I knew I had issues seeing far away and Lex gave me her glasses when I was playing a video game on a small screen, and walla !! I could see.

She gave me her spare glasses and I am going to see an eye doctor soon to have my eyes checked.

Now I know it's bad to wear someone else's glasses if they aren't the right prescription and all that, but honestly, I can see so much better and when I'm driving I can actually read the signs before I am beside them.

When I saw my doctor, I had blood work done the day before, and most people also know that they found that I have Hypothyroidism. I am taking pills for it as of yesterday and I'm fine, There are quite a few symptoms that I have and the 2 that I hate the most is increased sensitivity to the cold, and all this time I thought I just wasn't adjusting to Canadian weathers, nope, I am just very sensitive to the cold.

The second symptom (which might not be an actual symptom, my doctor said the hypothyroidism might not be causing it) is depression. I don't know how long I have had this wonderful *sarcasm* hypothyroid issue, but I know I have had depression for 6 years maybe 7...either way in 2 months when I see my doctor again, she said if I am still depressed then she will put me on anti-depressants. Lovely. I already take 5 pills a day, let us add a 6th, shall we? (Hopefully not).

I wasn't going to talk about this because I don't want anybody to worry...but I guess it's not so bad that I can't share, plus I have a feeling a few people will want to know that I do want to tell and I don't feel like typing it a ton of times lol, so here we go.....

I had an ultrasound the other day, no I am not pregnant, I had the ultrasound because I am sick very often and they were looking to see if anything was wrong in my tummy and such. This was the same day I had blood taken (and I actually fainted after having my blood taken because I was supposed to be fasting and we all know I drink a ridiculous amount of water, so going all night and day without food and water took a toll on me, add having blood taken, I passed out and don't remember much of that) anyways...

I got a call today about the ultrasound, I was told they found a benign spot on my liver. For those of you who don't know what benign means; 

Having little or no detrimental effect; harmless, mildness.

Of course I was freaking out, but the lady on the phone said that it didn't appear to be cancerous and they were going to make an appointment for me to get a CT scan. 

My dad told me after I was off the phone that if it were serious and they were worried about it they would have rushed me there. 

I am still scared of course, it sucks to find out when something really is wrong with you. 

I am glad I wanted to go to the doctors to get checked out either way, it is better to know then to be clueless.

And I do not drink, it's not my thing, which is good since this "spot" is on my liver.

Now, I don't want people worrying and constantly asking if I'm okay. I'm fine, really. I'm the same as I was a week ago, or a month ago, I'm just aware now of what is going on inside my retarded body.

So you don't need to ask me how I am, you don't need to worry about me. Just wanted to fill you in.

I am just one problem stacked on other problems, but that's old news!

ANYWAYS, lets end this on a happy note, shall we?

I am pretty sure I passed my first semester of college :D
I am REALLY proud of myself for that because I was really stressed and overwhelmed and was worried I wasn't going to pass.

Wish me luck for Semester 2 and then year 2!!

Also, this weekend, Billy and I are watching all of the Lord of the Rings movies. 

Not much else going on here, my kitten, Sophie is literally a cat version of me; she's clumsy and dare I say stupid? lol she's ridiculous and hilarious to watch, here's only 1 of the times she's made us laugh: http://www.keek.com/!c0BLaab

Enjoy! <3

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

 

35 Facts About Me.

1. I have ADHD. I was diagnosed with it when I was 7 years old.

2. I get bored of the way I look and dye my hair or dress differently (One day 'girly', the next day 'scene').

3. I have 2 tattoos, the first one I got without permission and I was 17.

4. I have Depression and am easily upset or stressed.

5. I am not a big fan of chocolate.

6. I hate baths. You're laying in your own filth.

7. I get sick VERY often. I (pardon my word choice) vomit at least once a month. 

8. I am not afraid of needles. (Pierced my own smiley 3 times, and will be again soon as well as my own lip)

9. I love reading and writing.

10. I'm way to hard on myself.

11. I am very open minded and believe in supernatural beings (Ghosts, vampires, witches, etc...)

12. When I was 10 until I was 13 I was anorexic. Not because I thought I was fat, but because I had just moved to Hawaii and was paranoid there would be bugs in my food.

13. I refuse to drink tap water. Only water bottles.

14. I hate pop/soda. 

15. I don't drink alcohol. I don't like too.

16. I have a bad habit of chewing on my tongue and grinding my teeth.

17. I would go back and change parts of my life. Even if I wouldn't be me any more. I'd probably be someone better then myself.

18. I am afraid of not being able to see. (I like the dark, I just dislike not seeing)

19. I used to take Gymnastics and would love to do it again.

20. I feel guilty when people look up to me because I don't feel like a good role model.

21. I hate being unnecessarily wet. (Just out of the shower or a pool, or getting stuck in rain. I like being dry.)

22. I have a habit of biting and picking at my lips, so my lips are always cracked/dry/cut.

23. I am obsessed with body lotions and body sprays.

24. I am allergic to all of my favourite things (Animals, trees, grass, certain perfumes, certain body lotions, etc...)

25. I have ridden an elephant. lol

26. I like taking pictures because I can look back and remember where I was and what I was doing when I took it.

27. I've never been stung by a bee.

28. I am PETRIFIED of spiders but love Spider-Man.

29. The superpower I want the most is Teleportation.

30. I don't put much thought into some things I do. I am pretty spontaneous.

31. My top 2 favourite bands are Marianas Trench and Three Days Grace.

32. I love making youtube videos so I can look back at myself and laugh.

33. I would sacrifice myself to save my dog.

34. I am addicted to Tumblr. Seriously. It's probably unhealthy.

35. I am the biggest clutz I know. 

Birthdays, Rings, Pets, Rants, Clothes, Labels and Me.

Hello,
So I think it's been awhile since I've written here, nearly 2 weeks now...
I'm doing much better, my throat doesn't hurt any more, though occasionally it will, but it's nothing serious and the swelling has definitely gone way down as well!
Most people know by now that on Saturday I got my second tattoo, I chose not to get it on my foot but instead got it on my arm.

And of course it says "Mother is God in the eyes of a child"

which I got from the movie Silent Hill.

I am very happy with how it turned out!

The placement and size is perfect!

This tattoo was a birthday gift from my parents n.n

I was in Kingston this weekend from Thursday to Sunday, I got to be there for Billy's birthday :D <3

I had such an incredible time, and with Lexie coming as well to meet my family and boyfriend it was just awesome.

My parents bought a cake since my birthday is Nov. 1st, Lexie's is Nov. 2nd and Billy's is Nov. 11th it had ALL of our names on it, but they surprised me with getting a Spider-Man cake <3

Which was delicious might I add :3

I would kill for some more now, but it's in Kingston :/ it will probably go bad before I see it again.

My actual birthday may not have been very good, but being in Kingston definitely made up for it!

My mom took Lex, Miranda, Billy and I out on Saturday and we went all over the place, to the mall, to Sally Beauty Supply, Michael's Craft Store, Wal-Mart, AND Buddha's Belly, which is where I got my tattoo.

Let's just say a lot of money was spent xD

So most people should also know I bleached my hair again too dye it purple!

Not the best picture to show off my new hair lol but it's the best I have for now!

and this is my new kitten, Sophie, the one my parents bought because the house felt empty without me, she is my replacement -.- but she is absolutely adorable, I swear if I were a cat, I'd be exactly like her. xD

Sorta blurry, but still, she reminds me of a cat version of me x3

She's kind of a spaz too xD

Something else that happened in Kingston was that Billy bought me a birthday gift, though I got it 10 days late because I wasn't in Kingston on my birthday haha

He bought me a ring, sterling silver, it's absolutely gorgeous! 

HE DID NOT PROPOSE THOUGH!
Before people make assumptions. It is a promise ring.

I also wear it on my right hand. n.n

It's really strange for me because nobody has ever bought me a ring before, I mean, my parents and family have, but nothing like this.

It's honestly one of the nicest things I own.

I also got 2 new pairs of shoes! As well as some gorgeous new shirts and a dress from Garage, a place I never imagined myself shopping at back in grade 7-11!!

It's so weird because my style hasn't necessarily changed...but evolved? I don't know how to explain it haha.

I love the same clothes I used to but I also love other clothes, things I used to say looked weird or ugly I like now. I don't think I really have a style, I buy clothes anywhere really, if I see something I like, though my favourite store is still Hot Topic, I don't really have access to one often.

So I love Garage, Spencer's, Value Village, Walmart, Stitches, Urban Planet and a wack of other random places :3

I often get called "emo" though, or "scene" but really, I'm neither...One day I might dress in all black and the next I'll be a rainbow, but just because I dress in all black doesn't make me goth, because I dress in blue jeans and a white shirt doesn't make me a prep. I'm just me. 

I like dying my hair, I like tattoos, I like piercings, I like random assortments of clothing and it honestly bothers me when people label me. I'm not a cereal box.

Sorry for my mini rant lol. Just sort of got on the topic.

Any ways, I have had some other things going on as well, like a job interview last week, I don't know if I will get it, but I really want it, the job seems fun and pretty laid back, I also love the store!

I guess we'll have to wait and see though.

As for other news; I have been really stressed lately and getting neck and back pains :/

I feel like I am falling behind in classes and just...yeah.

Being home over the weekend was so fun, no stress, I was relaxed, had time, no expectations.

Back in Cornwall, I feel like I'm drowning. 

I have so much I need to do and I get so overwhelmed that I don't know where to begin.

Today I started taking Ritalin. Let's see if this helps get me back on track.

Well, I guess I should end this now before I literally write you guys a novel lol.

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

My First Hospital Visit.

10/28/12

Well folks,
I am turning 18 in 4 days.
Holy shit.
The funny thing is for my big 18th birthday, the only gift I want is a book. I don't know what else I want.
I'm in college and jobless, so money would be nice I suppose.
Maybe a Vanilla MasterCard so I can shop online?
I really don't know.
I remember turning 17.
I had a cake and a party. I had so much fun.

But this year?

I have nothing planned at all.

No cake.

No party.

No presents.

I don't even get to see my family or boyfriend until a week after my birthday.

So it really doesn't feel like my birthday is coming up at all.

I always thought turning 18 would be so exciting.

It's not.

Well now. This is just sad.

I'm complaining about my birthday. *facepalm*

Well, Halloween is in 3 days, though it doesn't feel like it. I have a costume and will be trick 'r treating regardless of my age. I am such a child.

I am also sick. I have strep throat. again.

I am literally ALWAYS sick. Stupid immune system.

10/30/12

So I went to the hospital today, it turns out I do not have strep, I have what is called Throat Abscess.
Basically puss behind my tonsil. Gross sounding, I know.
I was hooked up to an IV and had blood taken.
Then, I had a specialist come and he had to stick needles in my throat (4 to be exact)
The first needle he used was to inject something to freeze my throat.
The second, third and fourth were to (for lack of a better word) suck out the puss.
Between tattoos and piercings, those needles in my throat hurt WAY more.

I was given 2 different medications and told to go back on Thursday (my 18th birthday) to have more needles shoved down my throat...

My mom is coming to Cornwall tomorrow and her and I will be staying in a hotel, so she will be here with me and she will take me to the hospital on Thurs.
What upsets me more than anything believe it or not, is that Halloween is tomorrow, my FAVOURITE holiday, and I might not be able to trick or treat, though I think I'll try to anyways, regardless of how I feel.
I was given the option to stay overnight at the hospital, but I feel I don't need to take up their bed-space when somebody who is more ill then I am might need it, if anything goes wrong I can always go back, plus I am going back on Thursday.
Well, I think I should probably get some sleep and just relax.
Goodnight and I hope everyone is doing better then I am ! xD

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

Drama, Jobs, Tattoos, Life.

Hey everyone,
So I haven't written here in awhile, I've been really stressed and busy lately.
So, for college, I'm not sure what to say...
Classes are going okay, I have a LOT of homework though >.<
Not like SUPER hard homework or anything, just a lot and very time consuming.
Living in residence... I'm not sure how I feel about it really... I feel out of place here honestly, I don't really hang out with the people I technically live with, I don't talk to any of them, I keep to myself and my friends outside of residence, like my friend Lexie in my course and a few others in my course as well as some people who aren't in my course that I know.
I feel like people in residence don't like me, I just feel out of place, even unwelcome...
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe if I actually left my room and talked to people here they'd like me, but I don't know, I don't want to I guess.

I've been really stressed lately, it's been almost 2 months, I'm still jobless, I miss Kingston and my family, friends and boyfriend... I have SO much going on it's ridiculous, honestly.
I won't bore everyone with my problems though.

So I started taking Methylphenidate, which is also called Concerta, it's a lot like Ritalin, for my ADHD and it's also for depression, some of the side effects freak me out, but so far the only side effects that it has caused me is MAJOR loss of appetite and random body twitches, I only started taking them on Wednesday, so it's my third day taking them and in the last 3 days, I have eaten pretty much nothing, I tried force feeding but...it's hard to explain, it's not that I feel full, it's that I can't eat, I just can't..It's really hard to explain xS
Well, anyways, in the last 3 days, I've dropped 6 pounds...that's not normal, I don't know if it's because I haven't eaten or if it's just the pills, because not eating for 3 days shouldn't cause you to drop 6 pounds.

So by now, I'm sure EVERYONE knows, I have a tattoo of a bird with the words "I'm free" written underneath it !

I completely love my tattoo. I am very happy with my decision to get it!
I have another tattoo planned, probably my next one, for my 18th birthday I want to get the quote
"Mother is God in the eyes of a child"
from the movie Silent Hill.
I am most likely getting it on my left foot, not 100% sure if that's where I will get it but it's where I want it right now.










Opinions, the font and size and placement look nice?
So everyone knows I LOVE the movie Silent Hill and have been dying for a second one for 6 years, I first saw it when I was 12 at my friends birthday party sleepover. I was scared shitless xD I was BEYOND excited when I found out there is finally a second one coming out this month, though it looks a lot different and I don't know what to expect really, I know a lot of new characters and monsters and such will be in it.
But it's my second favourite movie, right after 50 First Dates.
That quote was said by the cop first, Officer Bennett! and then near the end it was said by Rose, Sharon's mom, or adoptive mom.
But it is true, as a kid and even now, I am close with my mom, I go to her for advice and look up to her. 
I love my dad and look up to him and go to him for advice too, obviously, and I will get a tattoo for him soon but I haven't decided what yet. 

Anyways, I think I will wrap this up now.

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

I'm Coming Home

Hello there all :3
Not too much has happened since I last posted a blog entry.
College isn't horrible...so far.
My work load isn't insane or anything, I have very few assignments so far and they are all relatively simple. I still have yet to get a job >.< This is getting retarded.
I have a 3 hour break until my next class....Politics...which is a three hour class.

I went grocery shopping last night, I didn't go crazy because I'm going home this weekend :D I'm really excited! I can't wait to see my puppy...I don't care about anyone else.
Just kidding lol I miss everyone <3 I can't wait, I go home Friday and come back Sunday. I'm taking a train...I don't believe I've ever been on a train...all I can think about is the movie Unstoppable. I'm not scared about getting hurt though, I'm scared about someone taking my luggage. I always worry about that when I travel.
So my mom planned for a dinner out and then when we go home we are doing face masks...my mom, sister, dad, boyfriend and I. All of us. LOL! I WILL be posting pictures lol and then we are going to all watch a movie together :3
Second day there; Saturday, I am hanging out with my family and at 1:00-3:00PM I have driving class with my instructor, getting another 2 hours of driving time which means I'll only need 6 more in car hours before I go for my G2!
and then on Sunday, I leave.

I've been really spontaneous lately and making big decisions and I'm happy.
It's simple; I am happy.
Well I'll keep this short and sweet :3

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

Possessed

Hey there!
I don't know how to start this entry...college life is pretty good, I like my classes, most of them at least.
about 2 days ago I got into a coughing fit in class and some guys in the back of the class were whispering about how they wished I would shut up and that I was annoying-I WAS COUGHING AND COULDN'T BREATHE!
jerks.
Finally getting better though, a bit of a cough but nothing serious :3
I have a bit of homework...an essay, having to read chapters from some of my textbooks and take pictures for another class. Nothing horrible.
I still haven't found a job >.< I really need to find one.
I am uploading a YouTube video as I type this so I'll post the link to that at the bottom of this entry for you guys.
I saw the movie The Possession last night; I definitely recommend it. Though one of the employees at the theatre here was a complete dick to me, horrible customer service, I had done nothing wrong and did nothing to deserve to be treated the way he treated me. then the girl sitting behind Lex, Chad and I during the movie kept screaming at every "scary" part, but that was actually pretty funny!

In other news;
I now have my industrial pierced. I didn't want too many people to know because I didn't want my parents finding out until I go home on the 21st to see them, now I just don't care, if they are going to find out why does it matter when? Just those of you who read this, don't go telling them, let them either find out for themselves or let me tell them :3
I've only had it done since Tuesday, so 3 days.
I love it!
Most painful piercing I've ever gotten by far but worth it!

Missing my boyfriend like crazy...I was up at 8am and couldn't fall back to sleep because I couldn't stop thinking of him :/ <3 I was going to get up at 10 or 11 but that didn't happen...
I've tried calling him a few times but there is no answer :/ so that sucks, I'll probably call again in a few minutes but then I can't until after class, because I have class in 25 minutes and I'll be there for 2 hours.

Well, I am going to sort my laundry because I will be doing it today.

Here's the YouTube video if you want a spoken update:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGHNcSnp5XM&feature=youtu.be

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

Locked on Dead Island

Hello to everyone who reads my blogs, the amount of views I am getting is going up!

So if you read my last blog, or my facebook posts, or even my tweets, you know that I am sick, I have been since Tuesday, which is horrible since my first day of classes was on Wednesday.
Last night, which was my first Saturday in college, I spent it with my head over the toilet. I felt horrible, thankfully I have an amazing room-mate who helped me out by giving me gravol and asking if there was anything else she could do. I felt awful worrying her though, I didn't want to ruin her night but I felt so weak I found it took a lot of effort to talk...I didn't eat much yesterday so I didn't really have much to...for lack of a better word, puke. So it was mostly dry heaving, still horrible though.
Now I'm back to just having an annoying cough.
Funny thing is my boyfriend who is 2 hours away from me is also sick with a cough. Our sickness is synced :0
So my weekend sort of sucked, I hope I get better fast, I hate being sick, then again; who doesn't?
I'm just sitting here practically taking Halls like they're candy.
I've sort of quarantined myself in my room, it's my first week and everybody in residence probably thinks I'm a weirdo because I have only been out of my room a few times, but I'm sick so I'm staying inside.
Even with the gravol though I woke up every hour and at 6 am I finally started feeling better. then I slept from 6 to 8 which meant I got 2 hours straight of sleep, then from 8 to 10 which is when I felt almost perfectly fine (minus my sore throat). So I called my boyfriend and we talked for 4 hours then I played some xbox because my friend Lexie left her xbox here, I played Dead Island, that game is scary when you get into it haha...
Since then I have done part of my essay for my Politics class and now I'm on the phone with my boyfriend again...I miss him so much <3
I think this upcoming weekend I might get to see him, I'm not too sure if it's this weekend or the one after any more though...

I seriously need a job, being sick hasn't helped me in anyway as to getting one, because I haven't really gone and looked... This week I really should, I was hoping to find a job on campus but due to the fact that I had gotten sick, I never looked and now I'm pretty sure all the on-campus jobs are taken...oh well, just have to look that much harder...
Does anyone know a cure for throat virus'? I'd love to hear it!

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

First Week of School...and I'm Sick.

Hey guys.
So I've started college, been to a few classes and I had one today!
My schedule is;

Monday:
Systems Overview -- 8:30-10:30
Intro to Journalism -- 11:30-12:30
Intro to Canadian Business -- 1:30-4:30

Tuesday:
Systems Overview -- 8:30-10:30
Intro to Journalism -- 3:30-5:30

Wednesday:
Intro to College Communications -- 9:30-10:30
Intro to Canadian Politics -- 1:30-4:30

Thursday:
Intro to College Communications -- 8:30-10:30
Introduction to Journalism I -- 11:30-12:30
Introduction to Journalism I -- 12:30 - 2:30
Multimedia Reporting -- 3:30-4:30

Friday:
Multimedia Reporting -- 12:30-2:30

Those are my classes throughout the week.
On Tuesday I got sick, just a sore throat, not serious, but on Wednesday, the first day of classes it got really bad, to the point where I was almost puking and my throat was dry and itchy. (I toughed it out and went to my classes though)
I went to the clinic on campus yesterday and was told I have a throat virus, there is no medication for it, but I am taking Tylenol to soothe the pain a bit. I feel really ill in the morning and at night more than anything, during the day its just my throat that is sore. It hurts to swallow and I am drinking so much water!
It's just my luck that I would get sick in the first week of school; Damn you poor immune system!

So I had an IEP (Individual Education Plan) in High School, for students with learning disabilities, because I have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) and today I went and saw the lady in Student Services and was told about accommodations that I can get...there are a LOT! >.<

Today is mine and Billy's 16 month <3 It's officially been a year and a half :3 I miss him so much :/
But I got good news today, one of the RA's here; Nick, said that to see his girlfriend he has to drive through Kingston, so whenever he goes he will let me know so he can drive me and drop me off and then pick me up and take me back to Cornwall :3
So I'm pretty happy about that !

I don't know what to do today, I feel sorta sickly and I'm tired but I'm bored as well >.< BLARGH
I'll be watching Public Enemies with Nick later but other than that, I'll be hiding in my room...college life...really NOTHING like the movies !!

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

I Survived...So Far...

First day in residence, 3 words;
Busy. As. Hell.
I unpacked my entire room and organized and sorted and was running all over the place, I'm beyond exhausted! Here are pictures of my dorm :3

I took a TON of pictures, clearly x3

I'm so worn out. It's midnight now and I am on Skype with my boyfriend.

We were being fishies x3

I knew I would cry when I left, but I didn't expect Billy to cry, which make me cry more :/

I miss him so much and it hasn't even been a full day. Walking out the front door of my house was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do...

Tomorrow everyone in residence is going bowling, and it's paid for and such so I don't have to worry about that at all, I will definitely be taking a lot of pictures over the next few days or weeks.

I am super tired right now and don't really know what else to write about, I haven't really left my room enough to tell you all about residence outside my door, maybe next time. 

Also, I killed a spider today, I canNOT stand spiders, at ALL ! They freak me out SO bad! I usually can't even kill them...but I did, now I fear a mob of angry spiders will attack me while I am sleeping haha.

Well, I am going back to skype to talk to Billy for a bit longer and then I am going to go to bed.

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

Goodbye

Hello folks!
So I packed up the truck today, everything fit! from this;

To this;


So it's really happening, I am moving tomorrow. And I still have a bit of space, which is good because I still have a few more things to pack up.

People keep telling me how awesome it is to live in residence and how laid-back this course is and how much fun I will have and that I'll be okay...How do they know I will take things in the same way they did? What if I don't have any fun and can't get a job or something, then what...?
I always look for the worst side of things like this instead of the better >.< Which I should really stop doing, life goes on, people grow up and live on their own everyday, so why do I think it'll be any different for me? I certainly don't feel ready to leave home yet...but I have no choice, I wanted to take this course and I was accepted, so now all I can do is go through with it...especially since it's already paid for...and it was expensive xS
Ahh, growing up......... I dislike it :/

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

Eyes Open

Hey there.

So tomorrow is my last day in Kingston, I have major butterflies. I'm not exactly helping myself since I keep listening to songs about saying goodbye >.< lol

At least I'm not moving as far as I have had too before, having been in Hawaii for 4 years and then moving 5 thousand miles back to Canada, I'll only be 2 and a half hours away...

So I am going out with my driving instructor tomorrow for 2 hours of driving time >.< Joy. Apparently his name is Gary. I'll be driving from 9:00AM until 11:00AM.

I have been waiting to get some scheduled driving time, but now I'm just nervous driving with a stranger, plus I don't drive to much, I'm not a bad driver, just a nervous one.

But that is what Gary is doing, teaching me to be a better driver.

So I tried to write my blog yesterday and just as I was finishing up, my computer decided to close the page and I lost it all...So today I am pretty much summing up what I wrote yesterday, and adding a few things.

So I talked about how my birthday is in 62 days ! and I will be 18 years old, and I have been thinking about getting a tattoo for a long time, but for about a year now I have had a solid idea of what I want...kinda, I have the idea, but I want to change it a little bit and make sure it's exactly how I want it...so, this was the original idea, I drew this and designed it...in Sharpies lol:

Then I realized it would look like a sticker, so I asked my friend Autumn for advice and she said I could add the Hawaiian flower; the Hibiscus, which I loved! But now I can't decide which colour Hibiscus would look best with this design, I would put the Hibiscus in the bottom left corner of the flag:

               

then I got to thinking, maybe instead of getting the Canadian flag, just get the Maple Leaf:

And I could put the Hawaiian islands across that and add the Hibiscus somewhere, opinions, suggestions, idea's??? and If anyone who reads this is good at drawing and wants to draw up a few ideas, that would be incredible, because I am not that great at drawing haha.

That's basically what I talked about yesterday...

I think...

I thought my room would start looking bare by now, but its really not...I'm leaving a lot of things at home. So in 35 hours, I am moving. Scary.

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

One Sick Bastard

Hello there.
So that whole rumour thing I wrote about in my last blog entry has been completely resolved, things are pretty much back to normal now. I never thought I could harbour so much hatred towards one person...this truly can't be healthy >.<
Any ways, only 5 days left until I move to Cornwall for college, it really is coming fast! I did my last minute college shopping today and got some school supplies and a new TV for my dorm room! because the TV I have in my bedroom is massive...it is ancient and bulky, so I got a 19" flat screen with a DVD player built into it! Here is the online picture of it:


It was a pretty expensive trip to Wal-Mart haha (Thanks daddy)

My new phone case finally came in the mail yesterday, I ordered it a month ago, I thought it was lost in the mail, I was pretty upset, but I finally got it!


For those of you that don't know the show House, search it up online and watch it, there are 8 seasons. The final episode aired in May this year D'x I am so sad that it's over! This guy, Hugh Laurie is the sexiest man alive.....well, right after Billy <3 xD


I have been trying to be more healthy and get fit lately...It's hard.
I work out daily, but my eating habits...aren't so great, though I do try to eat healthy..I love fruits but I am addicted to fast food restaurants and candy and unhealthy things. I'm up for healthy but yummy suggestions... My favourite healthy snacks are green apples with cheddar cheese or baby carrots with some sort of dip!

Just got an email from SLC (St. Lawrence College) It is a check-list of dorm necessities and as it would appear, I am still not done shopping yet -.- I finally thought I was too. *sigh*

I still need:
1. Alarm Clock
2. Hangers
3. Ethernet Cord

a few other things plus school supplies...Well I am going to tidy my bedroom and make sure I have everything I want to bring, I'm starting to get pretty nervous.

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

Laying All The Cards On The Table

Hello...
So today has been pretty tough for me, yesterday was too, but for different reasons...

Yesterday, somebody started a rumour about me that is untrue, even after high school, there are still people who are completely immature. This rumour was horrible and supposed to change the feelings of somebody close to me, it could have ruined a lot and really affected my life, I found out who started this rumour and I already know why; jealousy, immaturity and down right idiocy. They hate me for no good reason, I did absolutely nothing to them, they simply have nothing better to do with their life other then try to get involved and ruin mine. To make it worse they brought my best friend and her boyfriend into this rumour, making them look bad as well, they also did nothing to deserve this, even though the rumour was about me and used to hurt somebody else.
I am just happy that the person this rumour was supposed to hurt, trusts me and knows me better, if you haven't guessed who this rumour was supposed to affect yet, it was Billy, my boyfriend. I wont go on to tell you who started this rumour or what it was, but some of you may be able to guess that as well.
I had a horrible day yesterday because of it.

Now, for today, I am still bothered by that rumour, but as well, my hamster passed away, I am not one to choose favourites, but this hamster was the sweetest, and I have...had 4...I now have 3. Spider-Man was the second hamster.
I bought Mary-Jane, then later on bought Spider-Man, they had a litter of pups, I kept one and named her Alice, then a few months ago I bought Jasper.
Spider-Man and Mary-Jane are 3, almost 4 years old.
I always thought Mary-Jane would pass first, since she is older, but she is still fighting, though she is balding and has troubles walking; she often falls onto her back.
She has always been a tough hamster.
Spider-Man passed away this morning, I didn't think I would cry when my hamsters passed, but I did.
I am moving to Cornwall in 11 days, so I am glad that I was here when he passed, though I'd prefer he didn't at all. I know Mary-Jane is going to die very soon, I would rather be here when she does, but I don't want her to die before I go, because that's only 11 days.

And even more things stressing me out is college, I don't want to be so far away, now that rumour is one reason why I didn't want to leave, because I knew that that person was going to do something to try to hurt my relationship, and if I wasn't here, it could have been really bad. I know when I leave, this person will continue to try to hurt my relationship and with me not being here, it is going to be difficult to deal with.
I haven't talked to them, I don't want to stoop to their level, I don't want to name anybody, and I don't want to get into any fights, unlike them I have class (even though on the inside I want to go over to their house and beat their face in) but I won't, because I would like to keep my dignity, which they lost a long time ago.

I wont lie here, I almost called Kids Help Phone yesterday because I had no idea what to do in the situation I was put in because of this untrue rumour, instead, I told my dad and took his advice, which I am glad I did.
Everything is fine today as far as rumours go, but if that rumour is pushed again, I am going to lose it, I am sick of people having nothing better to do other than hurt people for no reason. Nobody deserves to be treated with so much disrespect.

So with that I will go, I don't want to write a novel about this because I believe my point has been stated multiple times.

I would appreciate prayers for my hamsters, it may seem silly to some people, but I do love them the same way I love my dog or my cats and even my sister, they are family.

Life Starts Now, am I ready?

Accepting The Future

Hello lovelies!

This weekend I went to the states as I posted in my last blog entry. I went to my favourite store Hot Topic as well as some amazing stores called Vanity, Deb, Kohl's and a few other places, I got a ton of new clothes! Here are just a few of the outfits I got !

The corset top and the skirt are from Hot Topic and the faux leather jacket is from Vanity

This outfit is from Hot Topic 

The shorts are from Kohl's and the shirt is from K-Mart and the bandeau is from Bon Ton
The shirt is buttoned up all the way here

The shorts are from Kohl's and the shirt are from K-Mart and the bandeau is from Bon Ton

The shorts are from Kohl's, the shirt is from K-Mart and the Bandeau is from Bon Ton
I undid the top 2 or 3 buttons here

This outfit is from Kohl's and the bandeau is from Bon Ton

The shirt is from Hot Topic, the bandeau is from Bon Ton and the pants are from Kohl's

The shirt is from Hot Topic, the bandeau is from Bon Ton and the pants are from Kohl's

This outfit is from Kohl's

This outfit is from Kohl's

I did get new shoes and jewellery as well as more college supplies and even more clothes but it was late when I took these photos so I wasn't able to get pictures of everything else I purchased in the states. 

I had a blast though. My mom of course bought candles and a few shirts and my dad bought a few shirts and a belt. I am really glad we went, we had a great time hanging out at the hotel pool and watching movies in the hotel room as well as exploring Watertown, and let's not forget eating at my favourite restaurant Texas Roadhouse! I highly recommend you guys find one and go, BEST food ever ! I also recommend their burgers, steak and spicy poppers! 

Here is the most recent picture of everything I have purchased for college so far:

   

I pretty much have all the essentials, storage bins, microwave, toaster, paper towels, dish soap, etc... Only 13 more days until I am leaving. It's coming really quick, I have people adding me on facebook who are going to also be in residence at the same college I am going to. I'm going to know everyone before I even get there haha, which is good I guess since I can be pretty shy if I don't know people.

Idk how I am going to pack up my entire room >.< It seems like so much stuff.. Also, some picture of residence were added to facebook, so here are some pictures of where I'll be living:

Obviously the bathroom I will be sharing with Melina my room mate :3

Another angle of the bathroom, the sink and shower and you can see the mini fridge outside the bathroom

You can see the bed here which can be raised and lowered to whatever my desired height is and I will set it to the highest when I get there

The computer desk and a closet type thinger lol

I believe this was taken by the door into the room

The front door, the mini fridge, closet, and computer desk

This is the residence lounge

Also the residence lounge, you can see the TV and fireplace.

Once again, the residence lounge along with the fridge that everyone in res can use

So that is the basics of residence and where I will be living, those weren't pictures of my dorm room, that was just a random one but that is the basic idea, they all look pretty much the same :3 It is gorgeous and its a  good size for me.

Side note; our bathroom is almost done and it looks awesome ! 

Our gorgeous new tub !

I am in love with our new shower

This is where our toilet used to be and will be again, new toilet though!

I really don't have much to talk about right now, just getting myself ready for college, I usually take a picture of myself everyday (for a year) and I have been distracted and busy and just keep forgetting, but I am trying to get back into the habit of taking the pictures again. Well I am going to tidy my room a little bit and then bring a few things downstairs to my pile of stuff that I am bringing to college.

Life Starts Now, am I ready?